My Heart Sigh's.....

When I Think What Could Have Been....

Grrrr....

These Past 6 Months Have Been soooooo Hard

Not 2 Mention Lonely....

And at Times I Wonder What It Would Be Like If We Were....

Still 2gether.....

But Its At Times Like Those

Where I Slap Myself

Because Being Lonely And Unhappy By Myself

Is A MILLION Times Better Than Being MisUsed And MisTreated

With You....

I Have Come 2 A Realization

I Wasnt Really In Love With U 

As Much As I Was In Love With The Concept Of Being In Love

(Confusing Right Lol)

Idk

I Cant Help But Miss U At Times

And I Honnestly Hope You're doing wonderfully

I Wish Nothing But Success 2 You And The Nigga U Left Me 4

And Your Son's gonna Be A Handful ( Just Like His Mama Lol )

Im Not Really Salty....

Ok Maybe A Lil Bit...

But Our Split Was Nessasary 

It Taught Me Lessons That Have Helped 2 Mold ME As A Man

And It Has Shown Me The Importance Of Finding REAL Love....

Anyways...

Im Writing This Letter That I Know U Will Never Read

As A Form Of Closure

I Really Just Need 2 Be Able 2 Move On

COMPLETLY 

I Told U B4 That I Would Always Love You

This Is True...

But.....

I Can Honnestly Say I No Longer Have Any Romantic Or Physical Love Left For U

And It Would Be Nice If u Didnt Call Or Txt Me Attempting 2 Re Kindle A Dead Flame

Peace....

~ Santo ~

Wow

Okkk 

So I Never Edit My Shit

Just Because I Want Each Post 2 Be A True Representation Of EXACTLY How I Felt At The Time

But....

Just a Clarification....

Im Not A Smug, Pompous Jerk...

Nor Will I Ever Be One...

But I Am Gonna Start Believing In Myself

FINALLY

Its Gonna Start With Skool Nxt Semester...

Im Gonna DESTROY Skool

Nothing Less Than Str8 A's Joe

No More Drinking

No More Smoking

I Have Come 2 Realize I Used These As An Excuse

As A Crutch

I Was Attempting 2 Avoid Pain And Hurt That i Should have Been Meeting Head On

Well...

Maybe Il Have a Brewkey Every now And Then Lol

U Dont Get Drunk Off Beer.... 

AGHHHH

This New Found understanding Is AMAZING

I Feel Like a Mili...

Seriously

Anything That Happened Or Didnt Happen This Weekend Doesnt Even Matter 2 Me Anymore

Cuz The Future Is Looking Pretty Rediculous Right Now

And 2 My Friends

I Am Bringing All Of U With Me...

My New Found Confidence Is Contagious

U Will Catch It

Or I Will Give It 2 You

Cuz Its Never Been Just About Me...

Im Confident Not Conceited

And I Wouldnt Be Denzel If I Didnt Take Sumbody With Me 

Whille Im Experiencing My Elevation

Idk

Im Soooo Excited

for like...

EVERYTING

The Future Is Gonna Be AMAZING

God Is On MA Side...

I Know He Is

Baby Jesus Is A Beast...

Idk What Else 2 write...

lol

(speechless for the first time)

~Santo~

I Feel....

Really Good 2day...

Contrary 2 How I Should Feel

I Skated..

Chilled With My Family

Skated Sum More...

U Get The Idea Lol....

Its Seems As Tho Everytime I Listen 2 Late Registration... I Take Sumthing New From It

Its Like...  The Album Is So Deep

That There Is Always Sumthing I Missed On The Previous Listen

Whille I Was Feeling Shitty Saturday Night

I Played The Shit...

And This Time Around

I Adopted The Most Primal of Kanye's

CONFIDENCE

"Made A Mill Myself, And Im Still Myself

And Ima Look In The Mirror If I Need Sum Help"

Ive Spoken About My SelfConciousness B4....

But Im Pretty Sure Nobody Will Ever Fully Understand....

But....

Ill Try Again Anyway For The Sake Of This Blog's Message

Okkkkk...

so Its Like Beyond Me Not Liking The Way I Look...

Or The Way I Talk....

I Like...

Hate Myself

In The Most Literal Since Of The Phrase

Well

Atleast 

I Used 2....

My Last Listen of Late Registration Showed Me Sumthing

I May Not Be Much....

But I Am The Shit...

And I Matter

I Am A Being With Limitless Potential..

I Am Intelligent

I Am Caring

And Sumday

Muh Effers Gonna Be Saying My Name...

Its Funny

Marley And Ashleigh Have Literally Been Telling Me This For Months

But I Was So Stuck On What Was Wrong...

I Just Took It As Them Trying 2 Gas Me Up

But Its Fucking True!!!

How Could I Have Overlooked My Own Dopeness???

And On That Note...

I Must Reiterate.... A Previous Blog (or was it a note on Facebook Idk Lol)

Idk What Ima Do When I Grow Up...

Nor Do I Know Who I Will Be With

Or Where I Will Be...

But I Do Know

Im Gonna Be Extreemly Successful

Kanye West Said On His Blog (paraphrasing)

I Developed This Huge Ego... Because I Needed 2 Convince Myself That I Was As Dope As I Wanted Everybody Else 2 Think I Am... Otherwise I Would Have Settled For Mediocrity...

My Old Dream Consisted Of Being Happy... Nothing More... Nothing Less

Fuck That Shit

I Dont Just Wanna Be Happy

I Wanna Be Happy And Rich

I Want 2 Be Happy And THE BEST....

And Im Not Gonna Get Any sleep till this Happens

Santo 2.0 Bitches

Fuck With Him...

Cuz I Fucks With Me

Lmao

Should I Feel....

Stood up???

Cuz i do....

U Were Most Def My Key 2 A Happy And Blissful Weekend

But Your Not Here

Idk If U Understand

But I Want 2 spend Time With You More than Anything Else in The World at This Point

Maybe I Sound Creeper ish butttttt

I Really Really Really Really Like U

Like... Alot

And It Sucks That i Didnt Get 2 See U 2day...

But...

Ill Get Over It...

Im Not Salty...

There is Always A Good Reason

And Im Sure U Have One

I Mean

Even If U Didnt

Im Still Not Salty

But It Just Sucks That I Never Get 2 Spend Any Time With U

I think Im Done Ranting

Peace homies

  ~Santo~

Finding Forever Part Deux......

FUCK YOU MEAN?????

Lol

What Kinda African Jungle Music Was I Talkin Bout

This Is Not Me????

WHAT THE FUCK DENZEL!!!!!

Thats how U Know I Was Caught Up In My Own Emotions

I Had Just Had A Really Life Changing Night

I Was DELUSIONAL!!!!!

I Denzel Adams Am Not A Thinker

I Am Not An Intellectual Like Ashleigh

I Am not Gifted With Words Like Marley

I Am A Lover...

Its Who I Am...

Its What Im Meant 2 Do...

And Thats Why That Note Was ALL WRONG

That Note Was Basically Me Running Away From Who I Am...

All Cuz I Got A Lil 2 Fucked Up The Night Before Lol

I Thought I Needed 2 Change...

But Naw

I Just Need 2 Hone The Already Dope Ninja Inside Of Me

It Took Me All Of 5 minutes After Writing This Note 2 Find Myself....

5 Minutes And 2 Plays Of Kanye West's Street Lights 

Lol

Maybe Thats Why I Kept Going Back 2 Toneeshia...

Despite The Way She Treated Me...

She Was A Vessel Though With I Could Empty My 

Endless Supply Of Love

I Saw The Risk...

I Knew She Was No Good...

But The Opportunity 2 Love And Be Loved...

It Was 2 much For Lil Old Me 2 Pass Up

And Yes I Know

I Got Hurt...

Hurt Worse Than I Could Have Ever Fathomed....

But....

I Cant Let One Person...

One Bad Experience

Change Everything That I Believe In

"And Nooooo Matter What You'll Never Take That From Meeee"

And There In Lies The Problem...

The First Problem

The Only Problem

Im Not Afraid Of Love....

Im Willing 2 Put My Heart On The Line

Sure It Takes Sum Time 2 Repair It When Its Broken

But Shit.....

If I Can Do It With My Akward Ass

It Can Be Done....

Im Sorry, Really

But I Cant Hide It....

I Cant Run From Who I Am....

Or How I Feel...

And With That Being Said....

I Honor And Respect Everyting U Told Me.....

I Understand EXACTLY Where Your Cooming From

It Makes PERFECT Sense

You, Like Me, Are A Human Being

With Feelings

And Needs...

The Brakes have Been Pumped....

But....

The Car Is Not In Park....

"Eventually... You Will Have 2 Face These Demons In Your Closet

Be Brave...

And Put Your Foot In their Asses...

Never Be Afraid Of That Gut Instinct...

And Never Be Afraid Of Who You Are On The Inside

Cuz That Fear WILL interupt your Destiny, If U Let It"

My Dad told Me That 2day

And 2 Think I Thought He didnt Understand Me.....

Nigga's Dope.....

Just Keep That In Mind Ninja's

.....PEACE.....

    ~Santo~

Friends

They Are All I Have In This World
And Tho They May Need Me at Sumpoint...
They Will Never Ever Understand The Magnitude With Which I Need Them....

Growing Up... I Really Didnt have Any
I Was Always waayyy 2 Quiet...
Always A Lil Different Than The Others
So Niggas Tended 2 Stray Away From Me....
Ever Since... Ive Had The WORST self esteem issues

I Think I Always Will...
2day I Called My Self Trying 2 Rectify These Issues
But... That Is Wayyy 2 Great an Issue For Me 2 Tackle Alone
I Tried... And I Ended Up A Big Sobbing Heap...
It Was 2 Much For Me...
The Scars Are Wayy 2 Deep...
Sum May Never Heal...

BUT!!!!!!
My Friends
They Are My Diversion
My Escape From Reality
They Make Me Feel (For Once) Like I Am Sumthing
Like I have Potential
That Im Not As Big Of A Looser As I May Think I Am
Though They May Not Always Have The Exact Right Words For Me
They Always Have Well Meaning Intentions
And Honnestly
Thats All I Ever Wanted 2 Begin With....

I Love U Guys
I May Not Be Happy...
But When Im With Yall
A Permenant Smile Is Affixed 2 My Face
And For This...
I Am Forever And Eternally In Your Debt...

Thank You

~santo~

This Blog

Was Created.....
Because Im A Human Being
With Feelings
Alot Of Em
lol
I Need A Place 2 Express Them
And The Dopeness Wasnt the Right Place
So As Ashleigh has The Remedy
And Nia Has Blunts And Boats
I Have The Love Below....

Secondly the Title "The Love Below"
Has Absolutley Nothing 2 Do With Love
The Dopeness Joe Is "Speaker Box"
This Is The Love Below...

Get It????
Got It????
Goooood!!!

Peace Homies
And Enjoy
The Love Below....